Burgundy Jane Babineaux

Carla Gugino as… Burgundy

burgundy

Cinematic Twist Has-Been Former Child Star
Sex Female
Date of Birth February 22, 1974
Age 35
Zodiac Sign Pisces
Aliases Burg, Bebe (as a child)
Place of Birth Los Angeles, California, USA
Occupation Actress, Singer, Dancer
Relatives William "Buster" Babineaux, Christine Ford (famous grandparents); Billy Babineaux, Mary Anne Masterson (infamous parents); Brennan Sheppard, twin brother
Significant Other A string of bad boyfriends
Pros Hot, Nominee, Liar Liar, Who You Know
Cons Addiction, Bad Rap, Screwball, Drama, Insufficient Funds, Fail
First On-Screen Appearance TBA

Background

Burgundy Babineaux might sound like a stage name, but the sad fact remains that it isn't. The Babineaux name itself still carries some weight in Hollywood, despite the best efforts of the last two generations. Her grandfather, William "Buster" Babineaux, was a singing and dancing star on par with the likes of Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly, under contract to a studio, in the days when "under contract" meant essentially owing your life to the studio. While still young, he met and married Christine Ford, another of the studio darlings and frequent co-star, after a whirlwind romance that mostly involved a whole lot of mischief on the lot.

From their bright stardom was born a son, William Jr. (or Billy Babineaux, as he came to be known), who somehow, despite so many genetic, financial, and circumstantial advantages, would never manage to amount to much. With just enough failed attempts at acting to keep his name current on the D-List, he began a gradual shift to focus on producing (pretty much anything he could get his hands on). This was how grew up to marry wannabe-singing sensation Mary Anne Masterton, who was onto her third marriage already, and in need of a willing producer to launch her to stardom.

He helped Mary Ann put out her first album, which did not exactly rocket to the top of the charts like the newlyweds had hoped. For Mary Anne, admittedly, a lot of the "attraction" had been to his name, connections and arguable skill as a producer, so this was quite a blow. There was another album, a few poorly-attended concerts, and then eventually, the couple went down a road many desperate stars had and have since then: reality TV.

Here the Babineaux name at least landed them a contract, and their periodic antics in the tabloids garnered them a small following, but the show really limped through the ratings for the first year. It never would have been renewed except for the sudden spike in viewership for the big season finale: Billy and Mary Anne announced they were pregnant! With twins!

The camera crews were invited back to kick off the second season with the tasteful episode chronicling the birth. Watch Mary Anne scream at the doctor! Watch Billy try to bribe a nurse to let him have some of those painkillers too! And finally, watch as Brennan and Burgundy Babineaux made their crying and screaming way into the world.

The joys of watching Billy and Mary Anne's woefully unprepared attempts at parenting (and then logging onto the discussion forums to judge them right after each airing!) carried the show through another couple of seasons. And the babies were simply adorable.

In front of the cameras and a modest audience, the babies grew into precocious and yet more adorable toddlers. And then came the day when the two little ones spontaneously put on the most darling little song and dance routine for the cameras.

Or so the editors led the public to believe… Off-camera, the whole act was actually planned, choreographed and coached by mom - but the subterfuge worked and it was exactly the sort of ratings hit they'd expected. Burgundy's cheeky little wink and blowing the camera a clumsy kiss became a signature clip for the show.

But coached or not, the two moppets were good, there was no denying. They were talented, and they had that certain appeal that had made their grandparents such a hit back in the day. Their little performances started to become the focus of the show. Their dad took on the role of their manager and started pushing them into auditions outside the show as well, while mom saw to their training and routines. Soon they were doing variety shows, talk shows, and then came commercials…

By the time they were school-aged, they were becoming big names in the business. Big enough to be marketable in a cutesy little TV series. Of course, school was only a second-thought, and probably only that because the law required it. Classes were held on set or with tutors in the home, and done at the convenience of their work schedule.

Burgundy's life was like something out of Bizarro-world. She was completely coddled on set, with interns and PAs to cater to her every childish whim, which she really didn't mind abusing in her imperious childish way. Meanwhile at home, mom was always wanting to rehearse, to run lines, to prepare for this audition, that audition, singing lessons, dancing lessons, private lessons, group lessons… life was a non-stop whirlwind, and she really didn't know any better to mind it.

Eventually they got a little too old for the show and it began to falter. They left behind the wacky family-friendly hijinx to start with the singing and dancing again, this time as young teenagers. The rebranding took a bit of time to catch on, but it continued to slowly build, still guided by their manager father.

And so life went on for several years; but nothing golden can stay. They were just on the brink of really making it big with this new brand of Babineaux twin magic, just about to go on stage and give the performance and interview of a lifetime - when Brennan walked out on the whole thing. Burgundy never could understand why, no matter how many times it was explained to her.

Of course, since the entire family's income depended on them being in front of those cameras, this threw quite a wrench in their plans. Mom blamed dad for screwing up their career, and the paper-thin excuse for a marriage crumbled quickly. Heck, mom was already seeing someone else, some kid half her age, by this point anyway.

During all this, Burgundy was trying to deal with a complete and utter loss of identity, not to mention the deep sense of abandonment. There were those first few months when she firmly held onto the belief that Bre would be back, that he wouldn't just abandon her like this… Then came the attempts to make it on her own. But as it turned out, people were not really so interested in one half of a duo sensation.

She was talented, there was no denying. She could act, she could sing, she could dance - she probably could have made it if she'd been able to keep it together, and willing to put in the effort and pay her dues as a solo act; but instead, Burgundy began to completely unravel.

While her brother was off reinventing himself, she burned out hard. A party-hard lifestyle that had started when she was the promising young ingenue, turned into alcohol and drug abuse as depression hit hard and she found herself entirely unable to cope with everything. And, of course, her parents were too wrapped up in their own drama to offer her any support.

Burgundy stayed in the business, picking up bit roles here and there, though her flakiness and unpredictable behaviour made a lot of casting agents wary of playing that game of Russian roulette. The "Bebe and Bre" money ran dry quickly (what little had been left behind by their parents), and she was not very good at supporting herself - which would then require hitting up her poor brother for money.

Fully on self-destruct mode, she had a knack for attracting the wrong type of guy as well, a history that dated back even before her fall from grace. But now, these guys were really the lowest of the low, and she'd get herself in trouble by relying on them, only to discover just how sleazy the guy could get. Once again, Brennan would have to step in to clean up her mess.

The years since the "Bebe and Bre" phenomenon went by in a literal blur: a haze of desperation, self-defeat and alcohol. While she hadn't exactly grown any better at taking care of herself, she at least levelled off enough to handle semi-regular work, and so landed a recurring gig as a teacher and former spy on the teen action show Spy High, while still maintaining the firm belief that she is going to make a comeback, and that her next break is just around the corner.

Personality

Always fragile, poor Burgundy hasn't had it easy. The fall from grace didn't not go, well, gracefully. Her completely bizarre childhood has left her emotionally stunted, mentally unstable, and divorced utterly from reality. All she really wants is to reclaim her glory days, secure in the illusion that it will somehow make everything "okay" again, if she can only just get back on top. And she is also entirely convinced that she will get back on top, that it's just a matter of time until she can manage that next big break, see.

Her stint as a bit actor on Spy High isn't exactly the fulfilling comeback that she'd been hoping for, but at least it's steady work to pay the bills - when she doesn't squander her paycheque to booze, drugs, guys or gambling (which is seldom). She tries to be grateful for the opportunity, but it's hard. On her bad days, she finds herself jealous of the teens and their current glory; on her worse days, she tries to be one of them, hanging out with the kids and trying to be cool; there are the good days too, when she simply feels protective for them, and worries they're bound for the same thankless future she has, once the powers that be are done exploiting their youthful cuteness.

A washed up diva, but a diva still, Burgundy likes to make sure that it's always about her, though in a subtler way than her childhood self would have done. She will also go to almost any lengths to catch her big break, and has surely had a few turns on the casting couch.

To deal with the desolation that is currently her life, she tends to indulge still in the same self-destructive behaviour that was her undoing. She's lost a few small roles and commercials because she showed up drunk or stoned, or simply slept through her alarm in a haze of sleeping pills. She doesn't quite seem to comprehend the nature of cause and effect, and fails to see, no matter how often it is pointed out to her, that she is her own worst enemy.

Desperate for attention and approval, she will latch on to the first guy to show her some kindness, and in the circles she tends to run, this never ends well. Horrible at taking care of herself, she's always needed someone else to take care of her. With their parents so bad at it, she has always had a tendency to rely far, far too much on her brother. She will free-fall into trouble, secure in the knowledge that he will, however grudgingly, get her out again.

On-Screen Appearances

Date
Name of Scene —> the DL

Quotes

Inspiration

I can't deny Dickie Roberts was going through my head at moments, but mostly Burg is inspired by the true-life side of things you hear about a lot of the grown-up childstars.

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