Candice

Kristen Bell as… Candice St. James

candice.jpg

Cinematic Twist Snarky Gal Friday
Sex Female
Date of Birth 1981
Age 28
Zodiac Sign Scorpio
Aliases Candice, Ms. St. James - unless you are paying her ridiculous sums of money, you do not get to call her "Candi"
Place of Birth Nebraska, USA
Occupation Personal Assistant to Mark Long at Midas Entertainment
Relatives Two parents and one brother, none of whom she sees or talks to.
Significant Other She is married to her job.
Pros Iron Will, Who You Know (mostly the assistants of the rich and fabulous)
Cons Snark, Nobody (unless she's with Mark, she's rarely recognized - even then it's usually 'Hey you!')
First On-Screen Appearance TBA

Background

You want to know about me? Who I am isn't important. What's important is WHAT I am, and what I am is the best - THE best - personal assistant that your money can buy. I'm not going to talk about growing up in a podunk 'burb in the midwest with my nuclear family and two dogs - you don't really care, and why should you? I'm well-balanced, socially adjusted and whether or not I got along with my father has no bearing on my ability to manage your dinner reservations, pick up your dry cleaning and speak conversational Japanese to keep your clients entertained while you're running late to a meeting I set up for you. You don't pay me to share adorable anecdotes about the time I spent dabbling in high school musical theater, you pay me to deal with your clients when you're too busy and to keep them away from your competition.

I went to a good school and I paid my way there myself - no help from dad or anyone else, just a few scholarships and some crushing debt. I went straight from college to work and I took the first job I could get my hands on - and I did it well. When a better opportunity came along, I followed it all the way to L.A. and I didn't look back. This is a town that chews most people up and spits them back out, but I made damn sure that if that happened? I'd make it choke on me. I went from job to job as opportunities came along, and I didn't always play nice. In this town it only pays to be loyal to one person: yourself. If you see something you want, you have to be willing to fight for it. And if you have to stab your friend in the back, then that's what you do.

I don't plan on doing this my entire life. Being someone's glorified errand bitch isn't exactly a Lifelong Ambition, but it'll do for now. Sure, I can make you look good - but in the end, I'll be making myself look better. And loyalty is overrated, for the most part. Sure, I won't go out of my way to piss people off - not anymore. Things aren't exactly stable out there and it's better to be safe than sorry in this day and age, so I'm looking for a job I can stick with. But I'll always have my eye out for something that makes better use of my talents. I'd like to be a partner some day, and maybe that'll happen wtih your group - or maybe I'll be leaving you for greener pastures and taking some of your clients with me. That? That's really up to you, isn't it?

Personality

Candice is an overachiever in just about every way that matters. She is blatantly overcompensating for something in her past, likely to do with her perfectionist father who never showed her he was proud of her and whom she was apparently never good enough for. In an effort to prove that she can be successful, she's basically thrown herself into work and ignored everything else in her life. Friends? Relationships? No time. She pushes herself to do more and BE more at every turn and woe to anyone who gets in her way.

By the same token, even though Candice isn't nice? She's very good at her job. She is fully supportive of the person she works for and will do what she's asked (within reason) to the best of her ability. Once she warms up to someone she starts to let down some of that jaded and bitchy exterior, revealing… well, it's not really a softer side, it's just a funnier one. Though her sense of humor is still extremely mean-spirited. She's willing to put up with a lot of crap from her boss and can generally take things in stride and make situations work to her advantage. She's a problem solver and she thinks outside the box, both of which are excellent abilities to have in her line of work.

In terms of relationships with others, she has few real friends, though she's not socially backwards - she knows how to network and mingle and play nice wtih others. Dating, though, is something she does not do. Her job always gets one hundred percent of her focus and she simply can't balance that with a relationship. Instead she's been known to hit the club and randomly pick up someone (and it's not always a man) for the night before kicking them to the curb the next day. She refuses to mix business and pleasure, though: sleeping with a boss, client or rival is strictly taboo.

It should be noted that although Candice has no real experience with children nor is she in a hurry to have any of her own, her biological clock has begun ticking and the ice bitch has been known to melt entirely in the presence of an adorable baby.

On-Screen Appearances

Date
Name of Scene —> the DL

Quotes

Inspiration

Part Jean Kengis (American Psycho), part Lucy Kelson (Two Weeks Notice) and mostly Uda (Party Down) she's an extremely competent Personal Assistant who will manage your life and not ask questions - or take any shit.

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