Michelle Long

Madeleine Martin as… Michelle Long


Cinematic Twist Are You Sure I Wasn't An Accident!?
Sex Female
Date of Birth April 1st, 1996
Age 14
Zodiac Sign Aries
Aliases Shelly, Brat, Spawn, Why You Little!
Place of Birth Los Angeles, California, USA
Occupation High School Student, Bane of her Parents' existence
Relatives Miranda (Mom), Mark (Dad), Mark Jr (brother), Alison (sister)
Significant Other No one
Pros Mo' Money, MVP, Team Edward
Cons Drama, Snark, Jailbait, Nobody
First On-Screen Appearance F-Bomb


To say that Michelle was brought up into a loving, normal and well adjusted family would, well, that would be a bold faced lie. Born on April first, she's the youngest child of Miranda and Mark Long. Her elder siblings are Alison and Mark Junior. While the family puts the fun in dysfunctional, there is affection amongst the yelling and proclamations of hatred. You just have to look really hard for it. It's complicated, okay?

Growing up wasn't and isn't easy for Michelle. She's used to a fairly posh lifestyle and getting what she wants, which is typically the best of the best that can be mooched off of Daddy. It's easier to cave than argue sometimes. At any rate, Michelle's earliest memories are of the conflict between her parents. She figured out how to cope early on by being a complete and utter brat. It's easier to put that wall up than deal with the pain of hearing constant fights and bickering.

Despite the whacked out life at home, Michelle is an average student. Or at least, she was until she started knocking on puberty's door. That just happened to coincide with Miranda and Mark's divorce. She's a fairly smart child, but stopped applying herself when daddy left the picture. Now a freshman in high school, she's getting in with some of the wrong types, ditching class when she can and sneaking out the window when mom isn't looking. Hey, we all have our coping mechanisms. While her teachers would like her to take a more scholastic approach, and apply the smarts that are lingering.. she'd kinda like to just y'know, join the girl's softball team. Swinging a bat and hitting things has its appeal, but she doesn't quite want to admit it.

What else is there to say? Her home is a mess, despite efforts to hold things together. She goes to school, hates her life, wonders if that boy two seats in front of her would like her, then ponders sneaking some of her brother's stash.. He's older, he /has/ to have a hookup. This is LA, and he's the type to hide pot.


Despite the tears, the protestations and declarations of how she hates her family.. Michelle loves them. She fears and idolizes her daddy, and has a deep seated fear that maybe, he just doesn't care about her, Alison or Mark. Daddy missed a lot of family gatherings for 'work'. Which translated to after hours nookie with the assistants. What kind of signal does that send to your kids?

Michelle has a lot of complexes that will have the best shrinks unraveling her issues for years to come. She wants to be a normal kid, with a normal family and with parents who are together and they all have dinner at the same time and table. It's just not going to happen. If things were perfect, she'd go for sports, she'd be more of a straight arrow student. To be honest, she doesn't know how to really cope with the dysfunctions of her family, so she acts out. A few years ago, it was easy to bury yourself in your homework and try to ignore, but with the emotions of being a teenager, there's too much pent up inside to remain introverted. She hasn't gotten into fights, or even suspended yet, but her school performance is suffering. A's have dropped to C's, her teachers have to reprimand her for talking in class and not paying attention. Daddy pitched a fit about her joining the soccer team, so now she's pondering the girl's softball, and ignoring his objections. She's just afraid of his disapproval, and there's plenty of that. Why can't he just give her a hug and tell her he loves her!? That's normal!

She wants to be the good kid, but to be honest, she's got more of her father in her than she recognizes. She's got his temper, that's for sure. Michelle also shares his focus, and this is why her teachers are worried. They've seen her focus in the classroom and know she can pull her grades up, if she would just come back to the real world.

On-Screen Appearances

August 6th, 2010
f-bomb —> Mark earns Worst Father of the Year award.


"So you forgot I was staying this weekend."


Shane Botwin from Weeds, that is, if he were a girl.


Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License